Jan Special - Boundaries vs Struggling

Boundaries are the limits or invisible lines you place around yourself for protection. They are limits of what you can and will do, as well as the limits of what you will and will not accept from others. They are the filters to stop people for infringing upon you with behavior you feel is unaccpetable. In a sense, boundaries are used to set you apart from others and give you a unique identity. They help define who you are and who you are not, by how far you will go and how far you will let people come in.

Bonnie started the luncheon meeting by asking our working ladies about "What are your boundaries?" There was a silence for a while. Well, it's not strange to me, in particular in the Chinese society we seldom think about or aware of our boundaries. I shifted to ask the question in another way; "What is your boundary to the male passenger standing next to you in a crowded MTR train?"

"I dont want to stand facing a guy but will turn my back immediately."

"I dont allow any skin touch and must keep a distance."........

We also explored the boundaries in term of finance.

"I could easily lend money to my friend for less than HK$200 but it's impossible for any amount beyond HK$100,000."

"I never borrow money from people."........

Yes, we started to sense there is indeed boundaries we care and feel important. Different person has his/her different boundaries in different aspects which makes an unique who he/she is.

Bonnie introduced some examples of boundaries:
1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Mental
4. Sexual
5. Spiritual/religious
6. Creative
7. Finance

One member expressed that, "I know my boundaries but it's difficult to work it out in my daily life. " A good statement! You need to understand the general truths about boundaries and play around them. Let's see there are steps in the game:

1. Become aware of your boundary.
2. Define and expand your boundary.
3. Communicate your boundary to others.
4. Have a game plan for infringement.
5. Celebrate your successes!
6. Become aware of your boundary.

We, then shared our different aspects of boundaries actively through out the lunch while enjoying the good shanghainese food. Bonnie took the liberty to introduce a program written by Thomas Leonard, Coachville - The Personal Freedom Program which could help people in building a healthy life through 10 pillars. Click here to learn more about the teleclass program.